So who enjoyed the Monaco Grand Prix? Count of hands please…one…two…three…ok so a few of you did. While it is always nice to see a race handed to the runaway championship leader on a roulette wheel stuff with cash and Audrey Hepburn draped across it, here’s hoping for a bit more competition next time round eh?

Anyway rant over, who fancies catching up with the week’s tittle tattle and gossip? Excellent, here goes.

Use your Bahrains will you?

Mark Webber on Twitter: “When people in a country are being hurt, the issues are bigger than sport. Let’s hope the right decision is made..”

Max Mosely:  “They will be attempting to use the grand prix to support what they are doing, almost using Formula One as an instrument of repression.”

“I think it would be a great idea to go to Bahrain and have a race, it all seems so lovely and peaceful and not war-torn at all” Lewis Hamilton didn’t say.

The biggest shock this week didn’t come after the FIA announced that the Bahrain Grand Prix would be reinstated and held after almost six months of people dying… I mean political unrest even after most in F1 were against it, but that Max Mosely is at least some part human being.

Anyway, a tank will be a nice addition to the grid. And who doesn’t enjoy a soundtrack of people suffering while they tuck into their official formula 1 snacks and buy their officials formula 1 merchandise?

Oh Vitaly, what have you done now?

Out good friend Vitaly Petrov was in the news again this week after crashing heavily at the Monaco Grand Prix, an incident in which the Russian believed he had broken his leg.

Rather than a bunch of grapes and a reassuring ruffle of the hair, Renault big cheese Eric Boullier has decided a kick up the backside is standard medical procedure these days.

“He needed someone to guide him, to get him about, to tell him how to behave at the track, what time to wake up, have breakfast, how to manage his day, be on time for meetings and so on.” Boullier said of the approach he took following Petrov’s accident.

Luckily for Petrov’s team-mate Nick Heidfeld, he got away from Monaco entirely scot-free….

Heidfeld gets it in the ear in 3…2…1….

“Nick starts at the pace of Vitaly Petrov but there is always a drop. We need to sit down and I need to understand what Nick’s concerns are.”

Excellent management, Eric.

It’s a Massa-cre

OK everybody stop laughing, stop it now. Felipe Massa believes Ferrari can build on their progress and have a say in the world title this year. I said stop laughing!

Watch out for the most outrageous use of the word “we” when talking about one Spaniard doing all the work while Massa fails to pick up any points whatsoever in any of the last three races while trying to take some of the praise for some of the hard work said Spaniard has put it.

“There was at least one positive aspect to the weekend and that is the fact our car was much more competitive than we had seen it at the previous race,” Massa said.

“Finally, we could fight all the way to the end, even if circumstances meant that only applied to one of us. Our pace was very good and I hope that will also be the case in Canada and Valencia.”

Some call it circumstance, others call it bad driving. Whatever floats your boat.

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