Talking a good game is usually your one-size fits all dose of cynicism and scepticism, but even we are willing to admit that the Canadian Grand Prix was actually, just a little bit, maybe, quite good.

My word that was hard. Right back to normality – time for some of the best quotes from hapless formula 1 drivers that have left themselves open to petty ridicule this week.

You McLaren a laugh?

Lewis Hamilton reminds me of my teenage sexual adventures – constantly aiming hopelessly for a gap that just isn’t there. “I’m sorry that’s never happened before”, “I’m usually quite good at it”, and “I didn’t mean to hit you, it’s just you didn’t want to let me in” are excuses that have been uttered by both the McLaren driver and in countless adolescent Essex girls bedrooms back in the early 2000’s.

But that’s where the similarities end, because I simply would never allow my Dad involved, no matter how many times I was rejected. That’s just the kinda guy I am.

“It was just motor racing. In Formula One you only have a split second to make those decisions, whether they are right or wrong, you take a decision and you have to go with it. At the end of the day if we could all see the future maybe we would do things differently.” Anthony Hamilton said after the Canadian Grand Prix.

Can you imagine how much of a handful Hamilton must have been as a teenager?

When will you learn Nico?

*SCRATCH SCRATCH* What’s that I hear? Ah it’s Nico Rosberg approaching, and what’s that? Ah yes, he sounds like a broken record. And not even a good one, a really badly broken vinyl of Sisqo’s Thong Song.

Nico Rosberg before the Monaco Grand Prix: “I am all focused on this weekend’s race – and so far it is looking very promising. The car is very nicely glued to the track and I feel very comfortable.” Points: 0

Nico Rosberg before the Canadian Grand Prix: “I hope that we can move up and be back competing where we belong. The spirit within the team is great and we will fight for a better result than in Monaco. I am confident that we will be able to do it.” Points: 0

Nico Rosberg before the European Grand Prix: “We’re working hard for a better result in Valencia than in Canada, and I’m very confident that we can make this happen.” Points: depressingly predictable.

At least he’s not banging on about finishing fourth in the last race with all those around him acting like it’s the greatest thing to have ever happened ever……..

Give us a Haug

“This was Michael at his best. It shows that he can do it, and that if we give him the right car he will deliver.” Said Mercedes-Benz motorsport boss Norbert Haug about Michael Schumacher.

Get a grip man! Any one would think he was a seven time world champion clutching at straws as he looks to validate his place in the sport….

HRTeetering on the edge

In news likely to interest literally tens of people around the world, HRT have decided to take it easy on their competitors, stop winning all those races and let the others have a chance by revealing they are about to call it a day on 2011 and have a pop at 2012.

“We will switch very soon to the 2012 car. There are still a lot of races left this season. We want to improve our results and achieve our target of being 10th in the constructor’s championship.” Said Colin Kolles.

Is that the same Colin Kolles who threatened to stop the Monaco Grand Prix with a protest the FIA against blown diffusers before waking up with a horse’s head in his bed and realising that he actually liked the diffusers? Seems like he has a history of not seeing things through then.

FIA: F*****g Idiots association

The Bahrain Grand Prix has been called off.

“Following a fax vote this week, the ruling body’s World Motor Sport Council has reinstated the Indian Grand Prix back to its original October 30 date.” Autosport reports.

So many questions, so little time. Human rights violations, violence, wars, death, money grabbing amoral, soulless, corruption governing bodies.

All subjects for questions that could be directed at the FIA and all the other backstage goon’s involved in putting a formula 1 race in the middle of a riot.

But the question that is on the lips of everyone in formula 1 surely must be: Who still uses a fax? No wonder it all took so long.

For the best reaction to the Canadian Grand Prix and the latest news from the world of F1 ahead of the European Grand Prix stay tuned to formula1fancast. You can also follow us on Twitter and Facebook.

Related posts: